oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
