Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
zippers are such a cool invention
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize