Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
