my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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