sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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