Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You don't make any sense
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