well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
