Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
