Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
