he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love having hate sex.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
