So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
