I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
