just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
