And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
