I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
