Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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