You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
