Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
