So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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