It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Floor bacon is actually really good
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
