when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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