If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Randomize
