Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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