how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
