In the future we'll all be gay
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
