he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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