I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
