I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
operation harelip BJ is a go
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
