I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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