peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
