He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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