Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
