Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
