Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
