He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
