I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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