you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
