another moral hangover. fuck.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
