the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
