Define "chronic" masturbator.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
