Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
