I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
