Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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