just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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