That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
