I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
