let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
