So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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