it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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