I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
